Rookie linebacker Manny Lawson is back again this week with his fourth installment of Manny's Law. Read and enjoy Lawson's ramblings and his stories about his family in this 49ers.com column.**
Let's talk about hot food, not spicy hot but the hot food that burns every last taste bud in your mouth. You know it's happened to you, when you are so hungry that you just can't wait to eat. I mean, you see the steam, and so you give a few three or four blows and you go ahead and put it in your mouth, but it's so hot it just burns you. The only logical thing is to spit it out. The worst part is that you are so hungry, but you can't taste anything and you are afraid you are going to burn yourself again so you don't even want to try and eat anything else.
Yeah, so that's what happened to me last night. I had this pizza that I made, a frozen pizza, not from scratch. It was pepperoni and it looked so good. I thought I gave it enough time to sit out and cool. I mean, I took it out of the oven, cut it up, waited five minutes, took my first bite, a little triangle with one pepperoni on it, and spit it out. It burnt everything in my mouth. I think I seared my taste bud.
I was really hoping to wolf that thing down – which I did anyhow, but it was not the experience I had hoped to have. I was good to go today. My appetite was back in full force. In fact, I just swiped a few pieces of pizza that they had out for the coaches.
My sister liked my Trilogy entry, but she said she's mad I told the world how she really treats me. Now people know the truth that although she looks sweet and nice on the outside, she really isn't. She did laugh though because she knows I got her.
However, then she informed me that she's still one up on me. Would you like to know what she did? She took a pair of my shorts home with her. I shouldn't say took, took is when you ask. She STOLE my shorts and then when she was long gone, she tells me to go check my drawer. I thought she left me something sweet, but no. She took my San Francisco 49ers shorts. They have a drawstring so I guess she can tighten them but she really doesn't care if they fit or not, she just wanted to take them from me.
My parents laugh at us. That's all we do in our house, we just spend hours laughing because my family is crazy. I think I'm the only sane one.
I told my dad that I was going to expose him for what he did when I was little. So, I'll share a little story about my dad and the reason why, to this day, I do not like feet. It all started back on a trip I took to Hawaii. I didn't make this trip, but my dad did and it's where he first heard of tofu, the stuff you might put in soups or whatever. Ever since then it was a big joke to him that tofu sounds like toe food. So then I was born, and a few years go by where I'm just living life. But then, I get to about 8 when I first experience toe food.
Here's how it happened. My dad is sitting on the couch, and I'm getting my running start and jumping on him. He puts me on the floor and I'm doing this over and over again. I don't know what came over him but I guess toe food sounded funny so I ran at him and jumped and that time he grabbed me and started tickling me and pinned me down on the ground. My sister was right there laughing at me. It was all fun and giggles and then I was pinned down and I noticed that I really couldn't move. I was stuck and it wasn't funny anymore. Then I saw this big humongous foot hovering over my face. I remember in between his big toe and the middle toe which is bigger than his big toe, there was a piece of lint in there. I started to yell for help but my sister kept laughing at me. As the toe was getting closer, it was getting bigger and I kept screaming. I was trying to get away, but I just couldn't move. I was helpless and the next thing I know he put his toe in my mouth and I ate toe food.
Need I say more? I think I blacked out because I don't remember anything else. But that's why I don't like feet, except for mine because my feet are sexy. If they weren't my feet, I'd say cut them off, dip them in gold and showcase so people can see what feet should look like. But, they are mine, and I make a living using them, so we can't do that.
Do we have to talk about the Eagles? I don't want to talk about them, that game is in the past, so let's talk about the Chiefs. I'm still studying but I've got a real good idea of what they are going to do. They are going to hand the ball of to L.J. and he's going to run. Huard is going to drop back and pass and throw it to Gonzalez or Kennison, and they are going to try and catch the ball and run.
It's our job to stop them from doing those things. That's it in a nutshell. Who knew football could be so easy?
I'm taking my I-pod on the trip to KC. I don't leave home without my I-pod or my PSP. I've got to have candy, but I can just get that on the plane. I'll need a change of clothes because we have to wear suits on the flight, so I need my sweatpants for when I get there so that I can feel like me. I also need to go buy some new slippers because my flip flops need to breathe some. I do love my flip flops, I'm not going to disown them or anything, but I need a change up. I've also got to pack up my bathroom toiletries, and that's it. I think…
And to wrap this thing up, I'm making up my own word and calling this a quadiology. Enjoy…
- Manny Lawson