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Manny's Law: Four-Chris-Merry



Rookie linebacker Manny Lawson doesn't rate Christmas nearly as high as his favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. Find out why in this latest installment of Manny's Law. **

Since I want to talk about Christmas, let's call this one Four-Chris-Merry. Now that I think about it, until the actual day of Christmas, Christmas isn't Merry.

I mean, you drive up and down the street at night and you see Christmas lights and ornaments, and it really brings a good mood to you, and makes everything soft and warm. That's until you actually try to go out and do Christmas shopping. There isn't anything merry about Christmas shopping. It's a war zone out there. People are ruthless and they come in all sizes, shapes and ages.

Earlier this week I just wanted to go to the mall look around, get me a hat, and a couple of t-shirts. I ended up stopping in my favorite store. I can't think of the name of it, wait, Sharper Image. I was just looking but apparently someone else was looking. From my point of view, I was there first. From their point of view, they were there first. It was an i-Pod stereo and considering I was holding it in my hand, I thought I pretty much had seen it first. That's when an uproar started. I was cool, calm and collected and they were like no, I saw it first. It was just this little lady who really wanted the i-Pod stereo and I think she really would have fought me in Sharper Image which is a good thing I avoided because I found out quickly she wasn't by herself. She was rolling deep. There were a lot of ladies with her. I'd guess they ranged in ages from 55-72. There were six of them and when she said I saw it first, they all surrounded me so I had no choice but to give it up.

So Christmas is not merry. People rush in the mall, they step on your feet. I'm one of the tallest things walking around in the mall. You can't tell me you can't see me, yet you make me walk all the way around you.

I see why everyone gets their shopping done before December because this late in the game, the gloves come off and people's true colors are shown, teeth and nails are sharpened and it's deadly out there.

For now on, if you so happen to get some Christmas things, get it done early! You may not make it back home.

As for getting presents at Christmas, I do my own Christmas shopping. I pick it out, wrap it up, put on there, "To Manny, from Santa" and then when Christmas comes, I act surprised again.

I bought nothing for my family because they are being stubborn. I've asked everyone what they wanted and they said nothing. My dad said nothing, but I just found out that he and my sister went out on a date without me. I don't approve of that. They took each other shopping and then my sister called and rubbed it in my face. She's good as gone from our family. Just recently my dad told her she was adopted, confirming what I've been telling her for a long time now.

She talked to my mom and my mom said she wasn't, but that I was. My mother is crazy. My father is right.

I hate when you ask someone and they tell you nothing, and then you are trying now to figure that person out and what they would like. For me personally to go out and do shopping if it's not for me, that's the worst in the world because that's a lot of walking first of all.

Then you think you found something they might like, and then you think I hope they like this, but what if they don't? I should get a gift receipt but they won't take it back because they want to be nice and what if they hate it, should I get it, should I not? So you get it anyways but as you are leaving, those doubts enter your mind and there you go trying to find something else.

So tell the person what you want when asked and let it be said so they can just get the right gift.

My family is talking about coming out right now, conversing whether or not they can make the trip out here to be with me on Christmas. I'm doubting they will come so I'll probably just hang out with friends. I've been trying to find my Charlie Brown Christmas Tree and can't find one anywhere. I don't want a big one because that's hard work to get it in my house and then too much decorating. The initial part of decorating a tree is fun, but taking all the ornaments off is a nightmare. As you take them down, you really just want to throw them all in the box but you risk breaking them, so you try and do it right and pack them all back up nice and that takes forever.

Some people say just string popcorn and decorate that way because then you don't have to worry about packing that back up, but I can't do that because I would eat it all before it ever found it's way to the tree.

To sum up my Christmas chat, all I want for Santa to bring me is a win over the Cardinals on Christmas Eve.

  • Manny Lawson
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