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Manny's Law: Sequel

Hello, I'm back for my Manny's Law online column. I guess this is the sequel. What's after sequel? Someone let me know so I know what to call this going forward. I guess there's trilogy, but then what??? I'll make up something funny after that. Unless someone knows, because I sure don't.

To give everyone an update, I found my happy Buddha statute at US Lighting. I followed Marcus Hudson out there the other day to help him get some furniture. I was just following him to follow him because for some reason he didn't want to go by himself. We got stuck in some seriously bad traffic and I hate traffic. We were moving at five miles an hour so I thought about getting out and walking for some exercise but then just when I was about to, it would move for a small burst.

Marcus ended up leaving me in the dust and he had to text me directions. He was already busy picking out stuff by the time I got there but I looked over and there was my Buddha. It was like the sun was shining right through the building lighting up my Buddha and I was like wow, there it is. I grabbed him by the belly and lifted him and thought yes, this is it. He's close to two feet tall, maybe a little bit less. I tried not to look so excited and I'd walk away and then come back and rub his belly some more for more good luck and then go see Marcus and what he was doing. I was trying to act like I wasn't too into it because I wanted to work a bargain with the sales lady, and it worked. I got a 15% discount and it's now at my house. He's got his own little area and I've shined up his forehead and his belly so he glistens.

In case you are wondering, I'm not Buddhist. I just like the statute.

I also talked about my cooking last week. I have been having some difficulties because I really do try to follow the recipe but then I decide to do something like throw some extra salt in there because I think that's an important staple. A pinch is never enough, but the next thing you know I've thrown way too much salt in there. I'll keep at it.


I was very nervous for my first preseason game but I wasn't that nervous for this one. There was one play however that I saw in slow motion. The ball was snapped. I faked like I was blitzing and I started to drop back and I'm reading what the receivers are doing and where the quarterback is looking. He's looking my way and I'm thinking oh my god, oh my god, he's about to throw to him to my left. As I start to creep over there slowly, I'm thinking wait a minute this is Kurt Warner, he might be trying to get me to bite left and so I stop for a second. But then he does throw to my left, so I start going and I swear it was like God pressed the slow button. I'm moving to the ball and I'm thinking if I get this, there is no one around me stopping me from getting a touchdown. I'm thinking feet don't fail me now. I'm reaching out and I think I got it and no, it just tipped my glove. I'm like six inches from getting an interception. It was incomplete at least. I had a nightmare about the play the other night.

Oh, so my neighbor Tony Parrish has a dog, a BIG one. I drove past him the other day and he thought I'd get out to speak to him but no, I'll wave at him. I'm not getting out of the car when Cujo's out there. That's a big dog. I still don't know where Tony lives and until I find out where he stays, it really is going to bug me. I'm peaking through my window wondering if T.P. can see me. He heard my music bumping as I drove down the street and told me my Rosa Parks by Outkast was too loud. He's a serious neighborhood watch dog.

I had to get up really early on Tuesday for the Blitz the City. I woke up at 5AM and it was still dark outside. I'm thinking to myself where's the sun? The alarm goes off and you try to convince yourself you can get at least another two minutes. When I finally got up it was 5:30 so that was the best two minutes of my life ever. I was very concerned about what I needed to wear so that took a while to figure out too. I had about 5 minutes to make it to the facility which is all I needed and instead my phone rings. I'm thinking who in the world is calling me at this hour. Lo and behold it's Vickiel Vaughn telling me he needs a ride and I was like, come on man, call me sooner than this. But I picked him up and it made for a fun argument all the way into the city.

Anyhow, about the Blitz. I begged to be the mascot but they said that the Sour Dough costume would not fit me. They let me hold the pick for a while but I think everyone came to the conclusion that I might hurt myself with that thing. The drumline was great and I danced along with them and pretended like I knew what I was doing. We had footballs, schedule and wristbands to hand out, so I took it as a competition and I was on it. As soon as the drummers got going, I grabbed my bag of footballs and I was just throwing them deep, doing handoffs, it was great. I hopped up on a bus, gave the bus driver a ball and everyone else who was on there. I was throwing them in people's car as they drove by or even handing them off to people who rode by on their bikes. I stood on the escalator walking backwards giving footballs and then I ran out. Then they switched me to wristbands and I ran out of those quickly too.

I had an absolute blast until we got to the bank and they wouldn't let the drummers come in because I really wanted to get on the counter and perform. They said it would be too much noise.

Then I got in the car and slept all the way home, and most of the day. I watched some movies, listened to music and then came to get my game plan that night and get an early start on St. Louis.
I know Torry Holt a little bit because I played with his brother Terrence. When I came to college Terrence took me under his wing and taught me the tricks and the trade of blocking kicks. He was a huge role model for me. I really looked up to him. I admired his leadership skills and he pretty much showed me the ropes and what it took to be successful in college. He had a great work ethic and was a great guy. I'll probably see Terrence on special teams when we play Detroit and I'm looking forward to that. But, this game, we've got to find a way to stop his brother.

Tune in and see what happens on Sunday.

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