Mock drafts are serious business.
This mock draft, however, is not.
Because it’s authored by four comedians who happen to be die-hard Niner fans.
We’ve welcomed back Al Madrigal, Tommy Johnagin, Dan Soder and David Huntsberger – you might remember them from 49ers Studios’ “Rules of Engagement” series – to provide a humorous look at the mock draft-ing process.
The touring comics take football very seriously, but they’re not afraid to mock the draft experts.
The simple ground rules for our “Rules of Engagement Crew” draft were set earlier in the week. The comedians split up the 32 first-round selections in fours, and the picking order was randomly selected.
Madrigal won the luck of the draw as the No. 1 overall selection, but many would argue that Johnigan took the prize – the right to choose the San Francisco 49ers first-round pick.
It also gave him the power to facilitate a potential trade.
Enjoy the mock draft and please no heckling during the show, but feel free to leave your opinions in the comments section of this post.
1. HOUSTON TEXANS – Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina
Madrigal: He’s a 6-foot-6, 266-pound beast and had one of the fastest 40-yard dash times for a defensive end in combine history. He’s faster than Kaeppy and Cam Newton, so he'll have no problem catching the Mannings and Big Ben.
2. ST. LOUIS RAMS – Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M
Johnagin: Johnny Manziel has all the upside of Brett Favre with all the downside of Brett Favre.
3. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS – Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn
Soder: Nothing more boring and safe then an athletic OT as your first pick.
4. CLEVELAND BROWNS – Khalil Mack, LB, Buffalo
Huntsberger: He played at a smaller school, but he dominated everyone. He’ll probably keep trying to do that.
5. OAKLAND RAIDERS – Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson
Madrigal: He’s got speed, so the Raiders will like him. And he can also catch the ball, which is a plus.
6. ATLANTA FALCONS – Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M
Johnagin: You want a guy on your line named Jake.
7. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS – Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M
Soder: A big receiver that made some cornerbacks look like kids trying to cover a grown up.
8. MINNESOTA VIKINGS – Aaron Donald, DT, Pittsburgh
Huntsberger: They may be too gun shy to draft a quarterback, so they go with a guy with two first names to replace Kevin Williams.
9. BUFFALO BILLS – Odell Beckham Jr., WR, LSU
Madrigal: He plays like DeSean Jackson.
10. DETROIT LIONS – Anthony Barr, LB, UCLA
Johnagin: I watched hours and hours of film and then googled "2014 Detroit Lions draft needs." Also, he could be related to Roseanne.
11. TENNESSEE TITANS – Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, S, Alabama
Soder: I'm going with the easiest pick for a comic.
12. NEW YORK GIANTS – Jordan Matthews, WR, Vanderbilt
Huntsberger: With the first controversial pick, I’m taking Matthews. He has long arms, runs real fast, and he’s the SEC’s all-time leader in receiving yards. Plus, he has the work ethic of Jerry Rice running through his veins. The Giants need to replace Hakeem Nicks, and this is the guy.
13. ST. LOUIS RAMS – Calvin Pryor, S, Louisville
Madrigal: How can a comedian not take a guy with the last name Pryor?
14. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS via trade with CHICAGO - Cody Latimer, WR, Indiana
Johnagin announces trade with himself, owner of the 30th overall pick: The Chicago Bears trade the 14th pick in the 2014 NFL draft to the 49ers for this year’s first-round pick, plus future draft picks and a 49ers Studios producer to be named later. I'm taking Latimer because Huntsberger thinks he's the best fit.
15. PITTSBURGH STEELERS – Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech
Soder: Steelers = DEFENSE!
16. DALLAS COWBOYS – Kony Ealy, DE, Missouri
Huntsberger: After losing DeMarcus Ware, Cowboys need an outside rusher with arms that are four or five feet long.
17. BALTIMORE RAVENS – Eric Ebron, TE, North Carolina
Madrigal: He’s closest thing athletically to
18. NEW YORK JETS – Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State
Johnagin: I want to hear Rex Ryan say, “Darqueze.”
19. MIAMI DOLPHINS – Derek Carr, QB, Fresno State
Soder: Miami doesn't trust Ryan Tannehill because his last name isn't Marino.
21. GREEN BAY PACKERS – C.J. Mosley, LB, Alabama
Madrigal: SEC linebacker gives the Packers more speed on defense for next year’s annual playoff clash with Kaepernick and the 49ers.
22. PHILADEPHIA EAGLES – Marqise Lee, WR, USC
Johnagin: His sophomore film looks like it's in fast forward. Last year's film, he was hurt, or he got Kiffin'd.
23. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS – Brandin Cooks, WR, Oregon State
Soder: More WR's need to be drafted!
24. CINCINNATI BEGNALS – Jason Verrett, CB, TCU
Huntsberger: Upside, intangibles, explosion, ball skills, quick hips, hippopotamus, leader, good locker room guy, experienced, versatile, nickel skills and so on.
25. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS – Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State
Madrigal: Gilbert's draft-day slide is finally over.
26. CLEVELAND BROWNS – Blake Bortles, QB, UCF
Johnagin: Someone has to end Cleveland's QB search.
27. NEW ORELANS SAINTS – Ryan Shazier, LB, Ohio State
Soder: Nothing like a really good Big Ten linebacker.
28. CAROLINA PANTHERS – Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan
Huntsberger: Lots of personal fouls in college, but I'm sure this draft slide will teach him a lesson.
29. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS – Timmy Jernigan, DT, Florida State
Madrigal: A great big, tough guy who goes by "Timmy."
30. CHICAGO BEARS via trade with SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS – Deone Bucannon, S, Washington State
Johnagin: I would pick him as a DB based on first name alone.
31. DENVER BRONCOS – Demarcus Lawrence, DE, Boise State
Soder: Imagine him with Von Miller... Yikes! I would hate to be an opposing QB.
32. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS – Tommy Johnagin, Stand-up Comedian
Huntsberger: Maybe this is them getting a little overconfident in their talent evaluation. While he is technically still draft eligible, no one saw this coming. Over 30, under 6-feet tall, and with a 40 time pushing 6 seconds, this is an odd choice. But his intangibles are off the charts, and they must be hoping that he can provide a solid locker room presence.